~Digital Skies~

하늘; Her Name Means “Sky” [HYBRID: Drabble/Oneshot - GDYB]

2008-01-03T05:45:51Z

하늘; Her Name Means “Sky”

He had met her not too long before Jiyong. They were next door neighbors at the time. They weren't really friends, but they weren't quite acquaintances either. Their relationship was something a bit more in between; perhaps something like siblings. She always did end up supporting and protecting him, even as they grew older.

They were extremely close for about two months. That was before Jiyong had entered Young Bae's life, and before Young Bae had gone off with this boy to become a singer, and way before Ha Neul had gotten sick...

They used to sneak off together to a lake area close by their houses. They would have to climb over the short guard rail in order to access the small slope surrounding the lake on the other side. It was never his idea, always hers. He just happened to follow her every time. It wasn't love, nor was it friendship that kept them together, but there was always something about her that attracted him. Perhaps it was the words she had said the first time she had led him to that place. Perhaps it was the first time they had met, where she had wordlessly held her hand out to him on the playground, and he had taken it without much thought. Then again, she hadn't really meant anything by holding out her hand to him in the first place, except for the fact that he had looked a bit lonely playing by himself and she had wanted someone to play with too. Maybe the attraction didn't really come until she had smiled at him afterwards, making him feel as if he had stumbled across something truly special.

It wouldn't be until years later, when he would finally realize that there was definitely something about that smile—an almost kind of smirk that would give anyone the impression that this child knew something that most other people didn't; knew a lot more and was always one step ahead of the game.

G-Dragon watched silently and with amusement as his lover carefully packaged their latest mini-album, Hot Issue with some holiday wrapping paper. This wasn't out of the ordinary for the other singer to do; G-Dragon was used to it by now. Taeyang had been sending gifts to this person even before they became part of Big Bang.

He couldn't help but smile at how concentrated Taeyang was on his project.

“Hey, Young Bae.”

“Mm?” the other responded, not really paying attention to G-Dragon, trying to hold everything together so he could tape the ends.

G-Dragon laughed.

“Who's it for?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“For Ha Neul,” Taeyang said in such a way that gave G-Dragon the impression that Taeyang meant to say something more like, “This is for her, of course. Who else, really?”

He smiled when Taeyang let out a small whimper of frustration. Responding to G-Dragon had caused him to lose everything he was trying to hold together. It was a bit terrible, but G-Dragon felt as if he had accomplished something.

“Such a lucky fan, really, always getting almost first on just about anything we make.”

“Mm...”

G-Dragon sighed. It was really cute that Taeyang put so much effort for a fan, but it was always this same particular fan. Just because G-Dragon was used to the situation didn't mean he liked it.

He moved over towards his lover and wrapped his arms around Young Bae, who was now busy writing a card. G-Dragon tried to take a small peek, but Taeyang folded the card shut.

“Hey, how come I can't see?” G-Dragon asked.

“Well, it's kind of personal,” Taeyang said, blushing.

Instantly G-Dragon felt jealous.

“What!” he wrapped his arms tighter around Taeyang and sulked, “I see...Ha Neul. That's a girl's name, isn't it?”

“Yeah...”

“Hmph. I thought you were afraid of girls, Young Bae.”

“I-I am...she's just—”

“She's just what?”

“Different...I guess,” Taeyang admitted, blushing even more, “I've just known her a long time, that's all.”

G-Dragon blinked, that was news to him.

“Longer than you've known me?” he asked, frowning.

“Well...kinda.”

“What do you mean, kind of? I don't even understand how that's even possible, anyway. If you've known her for that long, then shouldn't that mean I would have run into her by now?”

“I guess so...maybe we've all hung out at one point? I don't remember. I've known her a long time, but it's also been a long time since I've last seen her.”

G-Dragon was getting more and more confused.

“Anyway, don't bad mouth her, okay, Jiyong? She's a good girl, really.”

“Ch, all right. I still don't get what makes her so special though.”

Taeyang would have answered, but he figured any further attempts at explanation would only make his lover feel worse. Instead, he said something that threw G-Dragon completely off-guard.

“You know...I was thinking of inviting her to come up and visit. Would you like to meet her?”

G-Dragon didn't know if he was being offered an opportunity or a challenge.

“I like you,” she had said.

That was five years ago, in some coffee shop. Young Bae had come down to his hometown for a brief visit and had given her a call.

III

Taeyang mailed the package on a Tuesday. The phonecall from Ha Neul's mom came on a Saturday.

The ice in Young Bae's drink clinked. He felt his jaw drop slightly.

“Ha Neul...I—”

“It's okay,” she had said with such a knowing smile which she always had, “I know your heart already belongs to someone else.”

G-Dragon frowned as he followed Taeyang, who was heading towards a retiring room. There, his lover flopped onto a couch with a sigh, looking very tired. G-Dragon sat down next to him where there was a bit of space.

“Hey, what's wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“There must be something. You weren't concentrating at all during practice.”

“I know, I'm sorry.”

“Why sorry? I know you, Young Bae, you're not like this unless it's really something serious. What's going on?”

Taeyang let out another sigh, making G-Dragon even more worried than he already was.

“It's nothing,” he said, and turned away from G-Dragon.

G-Dragon didn't know what to do to comfort Taeyang without knowing the cause, and obviously Taeyang was too exhausted to discuss it. So G-Dragon did what he thought was best; changed positions on the couch so that now Taeyang's head was resting on his lap, and he gently ran his fingers up and down the side of Taeyang's face, soothing him to sleep. He figured his lover would tell him in time.

“You have a picture, right, oppa? Can I see who it is?”

Young Bae had flushed furiously. How could he explain to this girl that the one he was in love with was another guy? Just as he was getting ready to fabricate an explanation, his phone rang.

“J-Just one second, okay?”

She had just shrugged and focused her attention on her bubble tea; her ears were wide open though.

“Hello?” Young Bae said into the phone, he had been too flustered to check the ID caller.

“Young Bae-ah! It's me!” Jiyong's familiar voice had caused Young Bae to relax rather quickly.

“Oh! Jiyong!”

The conversation was mostly about developments with their label, YG Entertainment and the upcoming schedule.

VII

G-Dragon had wanted to meet her, but he didn't expect it to be like this. The casket was closed, but G-Dragon observed the picture standing atop it carefully. The girl in the photo was so beautiful that G-Dragon felt a pang of jealousy at how she had been able to keep Taeyang's attention so fully while she was alive. A twinge of guilt followed that jealousy; guilt at being jealous over the dead. He could see why maybe Taeyang was in love with her—that is, if he had ever been at any point. Since he didn't know the full story behind their relationship, G-Dragon found himself even briefly entertaining the idea of what may have happened if he had never met Taeyang when he did. Taeyang would have probably married her and G-Dragon wouldn't have blamed him, though the girl more than likely would have been the one bold enough to propose. G-Dragon even began to wonder why Taeyang had ended up choosing him in the first place, though he was all the more grateful for it now, after seeing what he was once up against. This girl seemed so much different from the others that usually sought his lover's affection.

He watched Taeyang, who was standing in front of the casket and looking at it. Unexpectedly and suddenly, he turned his head in G-Dragon's direction. G-Dragon blushed and froze; he felt as if he had been caught being intrusive. Instead of a negative response, Taeyang gave him a tired, but warm smile. G-Dragon thought he felt his heart skip a beat.

VIII

“That was G-Dragon, from your label, wasn't it?”

She had surprised him with the question. She smiled as she watched Young Bae blush.

“It's all right.”

“Really? You don't think it's...weird?”

“Why should I? You're happy, aren't you?”

She laughed because he was too embarassed to answer.

“It's all right. I think I kind of knew, anyway.”

“H-how?”

“Because,” she said, her fingertips brushing lightly over his as she reached for her bubble tea, causing him to quickly retract his hand, “When I saw how you were with him on the phone, I thought 'Oh I see. So Young Bae was done in by this person.'”

Young Bae gave a small smile, “I'm that obvious, huh...?”

She laughed, “That, and the fact that you always mention him when you have nothing else to say.”

The viewing was over. People were leaving. G-Dragon couldn't find Taeyang at first, it almost seemed as if he had disappeared. He later found his lover talking to some woman; he assumed it was the girl's mother. She looked like an exact replica of the girl in the picture, only much older.

Three years ago, Ha Neul had gotten sick. At the end of that year, she had seemed to get better. The following year, the disease returned. The year after that, she had gotten worse. In between, her mother had continuously brought to her the gifts that came in the mail.

“Why did you not tell me she wasn't well?”

“She didn't want you to know.”

“How...how long?”

“She was fighting for about two years.”

“Why...”

“She didn't want you to come back. Not while she knew what you would be leaving behind.”

He looked up, confused.

“She told you?”

At that moment, Taeyang could have sworn that there was something, a flicker of understanding, that seemed to go off in the woman's eyes. He didn't have much time to feel confusion over it, however, the woman quickly replaced the expression. The replacement was a small smile—it was the same as her daughter's.

“She told me she loved your music.”

XII

“Why don't you write back to him?”

“No.”

“Don't you like what he sends you?”

“Yes.”

“Then why not write and tell him?”

“No.”

“Aren't you two friends? Don't you want him to know how you are? Don't you want him to visit?”

She looked up at her mother at the mention of friendship. She flashed her mother an expression that confused the older woman; such an array of emotions, all conflicting with one another.

“No.”

It seemed like she had wanted to say something else, but couldn't find a way to express it. Her mother frowned.

“No?”

The girl sighed and leaned back onto her pillow, looking away from her mother and gazing out the window.

“No, because I don't want him to see me like this,” she said in such a way that made the mother wonder if there wasn't more to the story.

Neither said anything right away after that, but soon the girl faced her mother once again.

“Mom.”

“Yes?”

“Please don't tell him.”

“I...all right, I won't.”

As if reading her mind, Ha Neul said something that satiated her mother's curiosity.

“If he knew...if he saw me...he'd come back,” she turned her head towards the window again, “He'd stay. He wouldn't want to, but he'd feel he'd have to. He's that kind of person.”

It took a moment for that to settle in; sometimes even her mother forgot how quickly her daughter could speak. Then again, she had always been like that, so really the mother should have been used to it by now.

“He'd leave his true love behind,” she continued, “and I think that would be terrible, don't you? I don't want Young Bae to be breaking any hearts.”

Her mother frowned at this; clearly her daughter viewed Young Bae as some kind of angel, unable to hurt anyone. However, it was also obvious that he had succeeded in making her daughter this way, at least, that was what Ha Neul's mother wanted to believe.

XIII

The woman turned to leave. A strong arm stopped her.

“Wait!”

The woman did not look back.

“What...what else did she tell you? Was there anything else?”

XIV

Once, Ha Neul had made a comment to her mother after eating breakfast. She had been listening to Big Bang's first single in her CD-player. She told her mom that after listening to it carefully, she felt that she really liked the music. Her favorite track was the third one, she decided, where she heard both the voices of Young Bae and his boyfriend. At first, her mother had thought she hadn't heard her daughter correctly. When she expressed shock at the truth, Ha Neul just laughed.

“How could you not know?”

“How could I know?”

She turned and comforted him with the same smile as before and patted his hand gently with her free one.

“She loved every single CD you sent.”

There was nothing else to say. He let go.

XVI

A few weeks before Ha Neul died, when she could still speak, she had said something that stayed with her mother ever since. Her daughter was staring out the window as always, but in her last days her eyes had become more and more listless. To the end, she made her mother keep Young Bae in the dark.

“Momma.”

Ha Neul's voice was so soft, so fragile and lacking the strength she used to have in it. Her mother pulled up a chair on the side where her daughter was facing, so as not to force her to turn her head or project her voice any louder. She wiped a hair from her daughter's pale face and began to run her fingers through her daughter's hair. Slowly, ever so slowly, her daughter's lips curled into a strange smile. It was a warm smile and a playful smirk at the same time, and it sent a chill through her mother.

“I'm not afraid momma.”

“Ha Neul...”

“That's right!” she whispered excitedly, still seemingly staring off into space, “You understand too! I'll always be with everyone, no matter the circumstance.”

It was almost as if uttering her name had brought a brief flicker of life into Ha Neul's dull orbs.

“I am destined to be the sky.”

XVII

G-Dragon wanted to ask him where they were going, but he decided it would be better not to ask. He wanted so badly to comfort his lover, but he didn't know how. All he could do was follow his lover, who was guiding him, lightly tugging at his hand. They ended up at a park.

Taeyang walked to a bench where there was a small clearing from the trees. G-Dragon followed close behind. Taeyang sat first, pulling G-Dragon down beside him with a light tug of the hand.

“Young Bae?” G-Dragon looked down at his lover questioningly.

“I love you,” Taeyang said suddenly, looking up at G-Dragon, “Only you.”

G-Dragon was confused at first, but then he smiled upon noticing how flustered Taeyang was; the other boy had mustered up all the courage he had to say those words. He also found a feeling of relief wash over him; Taeyang's heart was his alone.

Taeyang let out a sigh. He had used up all of his energy for the day. Wordlessy, G-Dragon pulled his lover in for a tight embrace, brushing his lips against the back of his lover's head. Taeyang brought his hands up to hold G-Dragon's arms, which were clasped around him. He looked up at the sky.

XVII

Eleven years ago, two children lay in a field, looking up at a clear blue sky.

“Hey, Young Bae?”

The little boy's eyes met brown eyes much like his own, nothing too special, though later he would describe them as full of vibrancy and life.

“Hey, Young Bae, you listening to me?”

The little boy just nodded. The girl's lips curled into an almost mischevious looking smile. Her eyes darted to the sky, and then back at the boy.

“Hey, want to know a little secret?” she said, not waiting for the boy to respond, “My daddy told it to me, see, the secret of my name. Only because our dog died. I think that's why he told me. Want to know what he told me?”

The girl had rolled over closer to the boy, excitement clear on her face. The boy shrank away a little bit; he was both attracted to and intimidated by her energy. The girl paid no attention to this, and continued.

“I was scared at first, because of what they teach you in church, you know...souls leaving after someone dies; it's the same as someone just disappearing. You understand, right, Young Bae?”

The boy just wondered how she could talk so fast.

“Anyways, my daddy told me not to worry. I'm special. I'm different. It's my name, Young Bae. My name is...”

“Ha Neul,” the little boy supplied for her helpfully; it was the only part of the conversation he could seem to make any sense of.

“Right!” exclaimed the girl, “You understand then!”

The little boy frowned. Once again, the girl chattered on. She lay flat on her back, looking at the sky. She held out her hand, as if she were trying to reach it.

“I'll never disappear,” she whispered, “because one day, I'll be the sky.”

The little boy shivered involuntarily. It was either how seriously the girl had said her words, or the fact that there was a deep significance in them that not all of him could understand completely at that very moment, yet a small part of him did.

“That's what my name means. That's the secret. Daddy said it was my 'destiny'. Do you know what destiny means, Young Bae?”

The girl was looking at him again. The little boy just shook his head. The girl returned her attention to the sky.

“Oh well, it doesn't matter. I don't think it was that important anyway.”

The boy watched her on his side for a while, a hand clutching the grass. Eventually he realized that she wasn't going to speak anymore, and he too looked at the sky, trying desperately to understand what the girl had been trying to say in her flurry of excitement.

“I'll never disappear, because one day, I'll be the sky.”

XIX

It was a fabrication created by her father; a man that would eventually disappear to America and never come back again. A lie told, in attempt to comfort, by the man that would ultimately break Ha Neul forever, making her obsessed with her idea of becoming the sky and of having it be her destiny so that she could love and be loved; reach and be reached.

A great secret. That's what Ha Neul had called it then. That's how he had understood it then too. He had different words to define it with now.

A cruel joke.

A/N: Sorry for this not being as smooth a fic as my last two. I don't quite know what I meant by writing this...I just felt that I had to write it out. I didn't get a bit of sleep while writing this, but now...I think I can get a little.

This is my third fic, and yet a third style of writing. My first was tension driven, the second was image driven, this one I decided to make dialogue & action driven, since I want to keep it short. Honestly though, I prefer my image-driven pieces, but I still like to play with other styles every once in a while. I hope you all enjoyed it.

This was a tribute to one of the many people I truly love and cherish. May nothing like this happen again any time soon. Also for those who read my work; may you all always be in good health.

I hope no one has a biased opinion (for those who read the intro) about this fic...if you believe it's poorly written, please don't hesitate to tell me. The circumstance should never be an excuse to falsely compliment a work. I still appreciate constructive criticism, as always.

See you all again next fic.

하늘; Her Name Means “Sky” [HYBRID: Drabble/Oneshot - GDYB] (Extended Author's Note Cut)

2008-01-03T05:41:30Z

Someone very dear to me has passed away in the last few days of 2007 to a car accident. It was quite sudden...her cell was off, and immediately I thought something was wrong, and when I called her house...I do not want to go into detail, but I felt like etching a memory before this fic...she really did always support me and my writing...this sounds stupid, but I have written a letter maybe in hopes that she'd hear my words tonight.

For those that do not understand what I have written...her laughter and smiles I shall never forget. Her friendship was invaluable to me. The theme of this fic is "invincibility"...because that's what we truly thought we were. Even when I found out the truth, I thought "no way" and "this cannot be". I held onto that childish idea we had.

As I wrote this fic, I let Epik High's “혼” (also known as “Spirit” or “Soul”), play in the background. It was our favorite song. We used to make up words to it; pretending we were “invincible”, if that makes any sense. Now that this fic is done, I don't think I'll ever play or sing it again. It won't be the same. No more late night drives and just wasting gas, no more trips to Korea every other summer...no more concerts or clubbing...or bargaining loudly (for fun, of course) with familiar store owners in Korea...most of all, no more sleepovers in each other's basements, even though we were already definitely too old for all that. No more a lot of things that we used to do together.

My only wish is that she found a place of happiness; a heaven.

(The following is written to give me some peace; written small so that you will not have to be distracted and so you will not have to scroll for so long.)

정화,

나는 널 결코 잊지 않을 것야. 영원히 널 웃음 그리고 미소 잊지 않을 것야. 천국에 있는 행복을 찾어.
그거는 내 희망이다...

오늘 마지막 한번 우리가 좋아하는 노래 를 하고 있다. 알지? Epik High. "혼". 우리가
항상 노래방 에 그 것 했는데...ㅎㅎ...그러나, 다시 하지 않을걸갓테.

우리의 마음에 드는 부분 나온다:

“I will never die
세상과 부딪히고
쓰러뜨려도
내 피를 삼키고 일어나
I will never die
세상이 나를 찢고
무너뜨려도
눈물을 삼키고 일어나
I will never die
세상과 부딪히고
쓰러뜨려도
내 피를 삼키고 일어나."

그러나 우리는 항상 이렇게 노래 헤섯지...? ㅋㅋ...

"나는 죽지 않을 것야!

세상과 부딪히고
쓰러뜨려도
내 피를 삼키고 일어나

너도 죽지 않을 것야!

세상이 나를 찢고
무너뜨려도
눈물을 삼키고 일어나

우리는 죽지 않을 것야;

세상과 부딪히고
쓰러뜨려도
내 피를 삼키고 일어나.

결코 죽지 않을 것야.”

안녕. 친구...사랑한다. 이미 보고싶다.
이것은 우리 이정화...기념한다.

-- 이정화 (1988-2007) --

I Dream of You, My Beloved Summer Sun [ONESHOT - GDYB & Minor TOPRi] (Part 7/7)

2007-12-25T12:21:35Z

~~~~

The sun creeped into each room on Christmas Day. Jiyong lifted his arm off his eyes and squinted as he stretched his arm upward, and tried to focus his eyes on his hand, which was blocking the sunlight. He got up and rubbed his eyes. He sat on his bed, cross-legged and thought about the dream he had just woken up from and smiled; it was a good memory. Somehow he wasn't sad. Climbing off the bed, he slowly padded towards the desk where he pulled out a drawer and rummaged through the piles. Finally, he pulled out what he was looking for.

Seunghyun waited until his lover got up before he started stretching.

“Merry Christmas, Seung Ri.”

Seung Ri let out a small yawn and smiled.

“Merry Christmas to you too. Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Yeah.”

Jiyong brushed his fingers gingerly over the tattered box. It was the box he had found Young Bae holding the day he had died, and he had never once opened the gift. He held his breath and slowly lifted the cover off the box. Tears brimmed his eyes upon discovering what was in it. Slowly, he got up and walked to the closet where he pulled out another box, still wrapped, and set it on the table. He stood there and stared at it for quite some time; Young Bae's gift.

“Hyung?”

“Yeah?”

“You think he'll be all right today?”

Seunghyun sighed, “I don't know.”

“It's Christmas.”

“I know.”

Somewhere in the apartment there was a creaking noise, and then the sound of a door slamming shut. Seung Ri lifted his head from where it was resting on Seunghyun's bare chest. Seunghyun looked at Seung Ri, he had heard the sounds as well.

Seung Ri frowned, “Was that...?”

“Shit.”

“Please...I want to see him...even if it's just a dream. Just this once, I really truly want to see him again.”

Jiyong didn't know what he was expecting. He didn't know if he'd ever find him again. All he knew was, he had to go back to the bridge. He went back, and of course, there he was.

Jiyong approached him.

“You waited...” he whispered.

“Yes.”

Jiyong's breath hitched in his throat; this wasn't one of his make believe apparitions. This person before him seemed very, very real.

“You...are you really here?” he asked.

“Yes,” the other replied, “But not for very long.”

“Oh,” Jiyong's heart sank, but he brightened up again as soon as he remembered, “Hey!”

Young Bae tilted his head to the side, in question.

“Thank you...for yesterday.”

Young Bae smiled.

“You were being selfish. And stupid.”

“Hey!” Jiyong grinned, “That's just like you to ruin the moment.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Hey, look,” Jiyong said and held up his hand, something shiny glinting off one of his fingers.

Young Bae looked surprised.

“Why are you wearing that?”

“Because it came from you.”

“Ah...”

“And this,” Jiyong thrust the gift towards Young Bae, “is for you.”

Though he knew he should feel surprise that the apparition could accept the gift from him, Jiyong didn't feel any. Young Bae took the box and ripped it open. His eyes were filled with joy upon discovering that it was a brand new white hat. He put it on and looked at Jiyong with that warm, loving expression that he had missed for so long.

“Thank you, Jiyong. I love it.”

Jiyong smiled, “I'm glad.”

Young Bae turned and seemed to be listening for something. Jiyong smiled, the situation was all too familiar to him.

“You have to go now?” Jiyong asked.

Young Bae smiled sheepishly, “Eh, yeah...sorry.”

“Don't be.”

They stood there together, for quite some time. Finally, Young Bae took a step forward and closed the gap between them.

“Jiyong...”

Jiyong felt his heart begin to race. He wouldn't let Young Bae have the last word. He wanted him to know. He had to know.

~~~~

“There! There he is, hyung, look!”

“Yeah, I see him.”

“He's just leaning over the bridge. Wait, is he—is he going to jump?! We've got to go save him!”

“No.”

“No?”

“...let's go back home.”

“Huh?”

“Heh, we've carried him this far...at this point, if he really wants to go, let's let him go.”

“What! Hyung! How can you say such a thing?”

“Come on, Seung Ri.”

“But hyung...”

“Hey, Seung Ri?”

“Yeah?”

“Look at him.”

“At Jiyong-hyung?”

“Yeah. Does he look sad to you?”

“Um...maybe a little.”

“But does he look like he's not going to come home?”

“Huh? Mm...no. Oh...yeah, let's go home, hyung.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Finally, Seung Ri understood what Seunghyun had meant about Jiyong being fine.

~~~~

“You'll always be in my heart, Young Bae.”

“I know. You will always be in mine.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I'll see you again?”

“When it's your turn to. Deal?”

“Yeah, okay, deal. It's not something I can compromise anyway.”

“Haha, you spoiled brat.”

“Annoying jerk.”

Their lips locked then. As much as Jiyong wanted to keep his eyes open, he couldn't help but slide them shut. Once he had shut them, he was afraid to open them. When he finally did, Young Bae was gone. Jiyong turned to gaze out onto the open water, reliving memories long gone, one last time.

“Merry Christmas.”

The End

A/N: This fic, I would have to say, I was kind of inspired by the story of “Ghost”, if anyone has seen that movie. It was all the rage in Korea at one time.

Overall, what did everybody think? Like it? I hope so...next time, I promise to make a happier ending when writing this pairing! o_O And wow, I made myself so hungry at the beginning because of those foods...I had to take a break from writing the story and made all that to eat for breakfast plus some kimchi! Mm!

Oh yeah! And the title came from the one scene somewhere towards the end where my AU version of YB's nickname is explained. It was supposed to be part of a solo fic, but I made this longer because...actually, I don't know why, haha.

-_- Oh my...I think I need sleep. I spent many, many hours on this. Five whole days because of lots of stops! I became very familiar with my imagination wall...(This has been mostly an editing problem...I usually have a lot of trouble with the use of 'a', 'the', 'which', and 'every', and similar words, only because this isn't my first language, gramatically. I've been here a fairly long time, longer than most that come here from Korea, so I don't make as many mistakes...that is until you hear me speak it, but I still slip up here and there. I write better than I speak, though! I think because I have more time to think and less time worrying about pronounciation.) -_- Sometimes I even make up words...if you see any of those here, please let me know...I stayed up all Christmas Eve to type this, so I must have a lot of mistakes somewhere.

These past days I felt my brain slowly, slowly shutting down from writing this piece, because of so much energy going into it. ^^;; Maybe I'm just getting very old...I'll be 20 in less than 3 weeks and if we convert that to Korean years, then well...I still just end up very, very old. TT_TT Aigoo...

Well, now I'm off to write a different huge adventures for Yokshim! Maybe I'll see everyone again soon!

I Dream of You, My Beloved Summer Sun [ONESHOT - GDYB & Minor TOPRi] (Part 6/7)

2007-12-25T12:20:51Z

~~~~

Taeyang. A nickname made during their youth, made in the summer before their freshman year in high school; a summer that Jiyong will never forget. A word Jiyong uses to describe his beautiful lover, who is so much like the summer sun. Warm, forgiving, loving, passionate, understanding...

“I don't wanna do it anymore! It looks dangerous!”

Young Bae laughed, “C'mon, you chicken! We came this far already! Don't tell me we snuck out of our parents' places just so we could turn around and go back home without doing anything!”

“But the water looks...so deep!”

“It is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Fine. I'll prove it to you.”

“W-what? How?”

Young Bae smiled and started taking off his shirt. Jiyong blushed furiously.

“I'll go in first.”

Jiyong's eyes widened. Young Bae stripped down to his boxers and positioned himself at the edge of the small bridge for a dive. If Jiyong hadn't gotten so nervous, he would have taken the time to appreciate looking at his best friend's body. He grabbed Young Bae's arm and tugged him away from the edge of the bridge.

“Okay! Okay! I believe you! Just don't go in, Taeyang!” Jiyong gasped and slapped a hand over his mouth at the last word he had said.

Young Bae looked at him quizzically with a small smile on his face.

“Taeyang?” he asked, with a raised eyebrow, “Are you calling me that?”

“No! I mean yes! Ah...no!” Jiyong's face was getting redder and redder.

Young Bae's laughter was clear and refreshing.

“Yes or no, I wonder, which is it?” Young Bae said, smiling, “But what I want to know more, is why you're calling me by that.”

Jiyong covered his face with his hands and let his eyes peek through the cracks between his fingers.

“No! I'm not telling you.”

Young Bae grinned, “If you don't tell me, then I'm going to jump.”

“No! I'm not going to tell you, and you're not going to jump.”

“Oh, ho! So you're ordering me around now?”

“No! I just know that you're not going to jump!”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because if you do, you'll—”

“It's not dangerous, Jiyong.”

“Yes it is! It—”

“Watch me.”

“What!”

Before Jiyong could say anything else or move, Young Bae once again climbed over the edge of the bridge, took a dive into the water, and disappeared from sight. Jiyong ran and leaned over the railing where Young Bae had jumped, horrified.

“Young Bae!” he called.

No answer.

“Young Bae-ah!”

Silence.

“No! Taeyang!” Jiyong shouted and climbed onto the edge of the bridge also.

Not bothering to take any of his clothes off, he held his breath and dove into the water. Quickly, he surfaced and coughed. Immediately he was surprised that the distance from the bridge to the water had not been that great; he was further surprised that Young Bae had been right, the water hadn't been that deep, but one could still drown from it and Young Bae was nowhere in sight. Jiyong swam around.

“Young Bae!” he went underwater, saw nothing, and resurfaced.

“Young Bae-ah!” he took another breath and tried again.

Still nothing. He resurfaced and gasped for air.

“Taeyang!”

“Boo!” the other shouted, surfacing from behind Jiyong and grabbing him playfully around the waist.

“Ah!”

Jiyong whirled around in Young Bae's arms and suddenly their faces were very close together. Jiyong blushed.

“Hey!”

Young Bae was grinning wildly, “Did I scare ya?”

He was surprised when Jiyong smacked him across the face and slightly dropped his jaw in disbelief.

“I hate you! That wasn't funny!”

Young Bae rubbed at his jaw, “Geez, you're pretty strong, Jiyong!”

“Shut up!” Jiyong said, pouting and trying to pull himself from Young Bae's grasp.

He blushed more when Young Bae only hugged him tighter.

“Hey, let go!”

“I'm sorry. Are you mad, Jiyong? I'm sorry!”

Jiyong looked up into Young Bae's eyes and groaned, they seemed almost puppy-dog like, Jiyong's major weakness against Young Bae.

“Augh! Let go, you stupid guy! I hate you!” he said, starting to punch Young Bae lightly in the chest, “I. Hate. You!”

Young Bae seemed to loosen his grip.

“Do you really hate me, Jiyong?” he asked softly.

Jiyong sighed and stopped punching. He looked down.

“No...I don't hate you.”

“Good.”

Jiyong looked up angrily, “But don't do that next time, okay?”

“Okay, okay!”

“I'm serious...if I lost you...or if you disappeared one day...I don't know what I'd do without you. I...” Jiyong gripped at one of Young Bae's arms, “I...I don't think my heart would be able to take it.”

“Jiyong...?”

Jiyong looked up, suddenly brimming with confidence.

“I love you, okay?!”

Silence. Jiyong's eyes widened and he realized what he had just said. His jaw dropped in disbelief at himself. One of his hands flew to his head.

“Uh, ah...I...I mean—”

Instead of letting go, Young Bae seemed to cradle Jiyong closer.

“You...what you said just now, Jiyong, did you mean it?”

“Yeah. Wha—uh huh...?” Jiyong looked up at his best friend, confused.

His confusion turned to excitement and then right back to embarassment as Young Bae's expression changed from curious to a big, wide grin.

“Hey, Jiyong?”

“Y-yeah? What?”

“I'll tell you a little secret.”

“Yeah? What's that?” Jiyong asked, relieved for the change of subject.

“I love you too.”

Jiyong's jaw dropped, that wasn't a change of subject at all. In fact, he hadn't been expecting that at all; rejection maybe, but not acceptance. He searched Young Bae's eyes, wondering if maybe this was another one of his jokes, wondering if there was a catch, but he found none. He smiled a small smile.

“You're serious.”

“Yeah.”

They stood in the water in silence.

“Hey, Jiyong?”

“Mm?”

“You want to try kissing?”

Jiyong looked up and scrunched his nose, “Like they do in the movies? I dunno...”

“No, better than the movies.”

“Better?”

“Yeah.”

“Mm...”

“Want to?”

“O...okay.”

Young Bae lifted Jiyong's chin with his index finger and then pressed their lips together, causing Jiyong to blush furiously. He didn't close his eyes like Young Bae did, surprised for his first time. He made a low whining noise in the back of his throat, enjoying the kiss, and it made him so embarrassed, he was sure all the poor blood cells in his entire body were just living in his face right now. After a few more seconds, he pushed Young Bae away. Young Bae looked confused.

“You didn't like it?”

“You're too good!” Jiyong pouted, “So that means this must not be your first time!”

Young Bae's jaw dropped and he blushed at the false accusation.

“W-what?”

“Don't lie to me! You must have been practicing on someone else and...and...are we...standing?” Jiyong asked, looking down from where they were.

Young Bae let out one of his shattering laughs, forcing Jiyong to smile a bit as well.

“Yeah, I moved us to the shallow part, I got tired of treading.”

“But then...”

“I just tried to scare you by diving into the deeper part.”

Jiyong frowned, starting to remember what he had been mad about a few minutes ago.

“Then how come you didn't come out right away to show me you were okay?”

“Well then you never woulda jumped in and seen for yourself that it wasn't that scary!”

“What!”

“And we never would have talked about how much we lo—hey!” Young Bae laughed as Jiyong sent an angry splash his way.

“You jerk!” Jiyong said as he pushed past Young Bae to exit the water.

Young Bae turned around and laughed, “What!”

“You're just a jerk! An annoying, bratty, manipulative—”

“Oh, well look who's talking.”

Jiyong turned to glare at him, hands on his hips. Young Bae just looked smug.

“What? That just means we're so perfect for each other.”

Jiyong blushed hotly once more.

“Augh!” he said, throwing up his hands, “That's it. I'm leaving. I'm wet. I'm tired. I want to go home, and you're just a plain, big, fat old j—”

“But you can't leave yet.”

“Oh yes I can, like you said before! Just watch me.”

Jiyong got out of the water and began to wring out the edge of his clothes frustratedly.

Young Bae laughed, “But you haven't told me yet.”

Jiyong stopped trying to dry his clothes and frowned, “Huh? What did I not tell you yet?”

Young Bae smiled and waded out of the water as well. They walked over to where Young Bae had discarded his clothes and Young Bae started to put them back on.

“About why you call me Taeyang.”

“Eh?!” Jiyong groaned, “Don't you forget anything?”

“C'mon, just tell me.”

“Fine...” Jiyong muttered, “It's because...”

“Because?”

“...sun,” Jiyong mumbled quickly.

Young Bae frowned, “What? I can't hear you, you're talking so soft!”

“Argh! That's because you don't listen! I said it's because I think you're as beautiful as the summer sun. There! I said it! I'm not saying it again, either!”

Young Bae flushed at this.

“You mean that?”

“Gosh! Would I say it if I didn't mean it? See, this is what I mean! Annoying!” Jiyong whined as he tried to dry out his hair with his hands.

Young Bae smiled.

“Hey, Jiyong?”

“What!”

“You want to know what I thi—”

“Agh! No!” Jiyong said, turning red again, “I told you what 'Taeyang' meant and that was supposed to be the end of the conversation!”

“But...”

“No! I'm wet, I'm tired, and I'm going home!” Jiyong said, starting to walk away from Young Bae, “And don't you follow me!”

“But I thought we were a couple now, Jiyong?”

“H-huh? Oh yeah...ah, tch. I should've waited another day, maybe, to say all these things to you...now you're just too overexcited about everything.”

Young Bae smiled. Jiyong sighed.

“Okay, fine,” he said, and held out his hand.

Young Bae looked at him questioningly, “Jiyong?”

“Man! Don't you know anything? We're a couple now, right? So now we gotta walk home together like best friends do, right? Except...best friends don't always hold hands, so...”

Young Bae smiled and took Jiyong's hand.

“Oh baby, I'll never let you go,” he said, over emphasizing his words and grinning.

Jiyong pretended to shiver.

“Ew, Young Bae! That's gross! I'm getting goosebumps!”

“But I meant that!”

“You can be so overdramatic sometimes.”

“Maybe.”

“Come on, let's just go.”

They began to walk the path back to their houses together.

“Hey, Jiyong?”

“What now?”

“So can I tell you now? What I—”

“Ah! No! Stop!” Jiyong said, starting to blush again, “Don't you ever know when to quit?”

“But it's really good!”

“You're just making fun of me for what I said.”

“No I'm not!”

“That's it! I've had it! You're walking home by yourself today!”

“Hey!”

Jiyong laughed and wrenched free from Young Bae's grasp.

“If you catch me, then I'll let you tell me.”

“Hey! That's not fair! You're faster!”

“Well you swim better than me.”

“So?”

“Whatever. If you want to tell me so bad, come catch me.”

“Fine, on the count of three!”

“Okay...one...three! Bye!”

“Hey! That's cheating!”

“No it's not!”

“Yes it is!”

“No it's not!”

Young Bae laughed brightly as he chased after his best friend and newly found partner.

“You're too beautiful to be described like just one object” is something close to what Young Bae had wanted to say, though at his young age, he had simpler words to use to express that. Perhaps he wouldn't be able to tell Jiyong now, but he knew one day he would, and Jiyong would just have to grow up, be a man, and take that compliment. For now, though, Young Bae was too busy worrying about catching Jiyong than to think that far ahead.

I Dream of You, My Beloved Summer Sun [ONESHOT - GDYB & Minor TOPRi] (Part 5/7)

2007-12-25T12:19:57Z

~~~~

Jiyong smiled and let Young Bae brush his hand through his hair. Young Bae's hand was so warm. He was smiling at Jiyong. It was a warm smile. Everything about Young Bae was warm. He was glowing like the summer sun, much like he had all those years ago, back when they had been playing together at the edge of a lake nearby the neighborhood where they had both grown up in.

Suddenly, there was a clicking sound of the doorknob turning. Young Bae's hand stopped and fell back, leaving Jiyong disappointed. They both looked over at the door.

On the other side, Seung Ri had been balancing the tray with his leg while he trying to open the door with one of his hands. He was surprised to find the door unlocked. He slowly opened the door and peeked inside.

“Jiyong...?”

Jiyong looked up at Seung Ri with confusion written on his face.

“Um, I brought you some food,” Seung Ri said, showing Jiyong the tray.

Jiyong continued to look at him with a puzzled expression.

Seung Ri frowned, “What's wrong, Jiyong?”

Young Bae turned to look at Jiyong, a small smile on his face. Jiyong's puzzled expression quickly turned into one of fear. He looked in Young Bae's direction, eyes pleading. Seung Ri followed his gaze to the empty chair that was beside Jiyong's bed and he shivered involuntarily, finally understanding.

“Oh...oh no.”

Seung Ri slowly placed the tray onto a table nearby, trying not to drop everything. Jiyong was still looking in the direction of the chair. Seung Ri took several steps backward to leave the room.

“I...I don't know what to do,” he said softly to himself, unable to take his eyes off of Jiyong's pained expression, “I don't know what to do when you get like—”

Seung Ri jumped slightly when he heard Seunghyun slam the door as he came inside. Seung Ri peeled his eyes from Jiyong and turned around quickly, closing the door partways behind him.

“H-hyung? Hyung!”

“What? What is it?” Seunghyun asked as he dropped the bags down to the floor.

Seung Ri didn't say another word; just hugged himself to Seunghyun, trying to forget the look of desperation on Jiyong's face.

Jiyong did his best not to take a deep breath, as if doing so would make his lover go away. He slowly held out his hand towards Young Bae.

“Don't...”

Young Bae was still smiling, but now he seemed as if he were slowly fading away, back into a distant memory in Jiyong's mind.

“Don't...” Jiyong whispered, “Don't leave me!”

He blinked to let the tears that were forming in his eyes escape, but that was his mistake. Young Bae was gone. The sunlight was fading. Jiyong clenched his outstretched hand into an angry fist and he focused his attention now on the door of his room. He was pissed at Seung Ri. He was mad at Young Bae. He brought his legs up to his chest and put his head down. He brought his hands to his head and clenched fistfuls of his own hair.

“Why...” he whispered.

When silence was his answer, Jiyong spoke again.

“Just because it looked like I stopped being alone, doesn't mean I wanted you to leave me.”

~~~~

Jiyong just made him up one day, in the midst of all his grief; he just didn't want to believe it. Every year he made the same wish close to Christmas, and every year he had to force it to come true.

“Please...let me see him again.”

He wasn't real this time either. He wasn't real, and Jiyong knew it, but he followed him anyway. He'd been following his fabricated version of Young Bae all morning, just to see where it would take him. It didn't take him very far though. It just took him as far as a bridge; the bridge nearby where Young Bae had died.

“Jiyong-hyung!”

“Jiyong!”

Jiyong sighed and leaned against the bridge, waiting for his friends to catch up with him. He gave them a sheepish smile as they neared. He was caught; he didn't have the energy to run that day.

“Hyung! Why did you leave without telling us, huh?”

“You asshole, you need to stop with your disappearing act!”

“I followed Young Bae here.”

“Hyung...”

~~~~

Christmas Eve. The streets were empty. The snow glittered on the ground under the slowly fading moon and lamplight. Jiyong looked down at the crashing water below the bridge. It was about an hour before sunrise. He listened in silence to the dark waves crashing back and forth against the bridge supports. Closing his eyes, he was reminded of a distant memory, long ago from their childhood.

He had snuck out of the apartment after Seunghyun and Seung Ri had gone into deep sleep; he had dressed warm, but not heavily. He had decided to walk for a while and had unconciously led himself to the bridge.

He did not know how long he stood there. Long enough for the sun to slowly begin to rise. Jiyong opened his eyes. The color of the skies was slowly changing. Now was his chance. Slowly, he stepped up onto the side of the bridge and stood, the rails kept him from falling; they stopped at his thighs. He looked down at the water below. It was winter, he knew, but for an instant he could have sworn he felt the heat from the suns rays from all those summers ago.

It was now or never. All he had to do was bend a bit more forward, and then let himself go. Easy.

“What do you think you're doing?”

Jiyong froze. Slowly, he turned around. The streets were supposed to be empty. He was supposed to be alone that morning. His expression of confusion turned to surprise, and then shock. It was Young Bae, but he was different this time. This time, Jiyong couldn't predict what Young Bae was going to do; he didn't know what Young Bae was thinking. It was then he realized, Young Bae wasn't wearing the black hood and baggy black sweatpants that Jiyong usually pictured him in. Jiyong suddenly felt like he was going to be sick. This Young Bae was wearing the outfit he had died in.

Young Bae stared at him. Jiyong stared back. It was then that Jiyong noticed another thing different about this Young Bae. This one wasn't smiling. In fact, this one looked really angry.

Jiyong bit his lower lip, “Taeyang...?”

Young Bae slowly folded his arms over his chest. Jiyong was confused.

“Taeyang?”

Young Bae was still frowning. He stuck his chin out in the direction of the bridge and then looked back at Jiyong with a stern expression. Jiyong ran his fingers lightly over the bridge railing, never taking his eyes off of Young Bae. For some reason, he felt his face get warm with embarassment.

“Oh...this? I wasn't really going to do that,” said Jiyong.

Something seemed to spark in Young Bae's eyes. It was as if the older boy was saying, “Prove it.”

Jiyong's lips couldn't help but to quirk into a small smile. He laughed softly.

“Prove it...huh?” he said, “It's different from last time...I see. Okay, I'll prove it to you.”

Jiyong stepped down from the bridge and back onto the snow. He looked at Young Bae and spread out his arms.

“See? I'm off, and I'm not going to go back on. Okay?”

Young Bae's expression didn't change at first, but then it slowly turned into a small smile. Jiyong found that he couldn't help but smile back. Young Bae's smile widened, and so did Jiyong's. Then a sudden wind came, Jiyong blinked, and Young Bae was gone. Strangely though, Jiyong didn't feel sad. He just felt warm. He wondered what he should do next.

“Go home.”

So he did.

I Dream of You, My Beloved Summer Sun [ONESHOT - GDYB & Minor TOPRi] (Part 4/7)

2007-12-25T12:17:47Z

~~~~

The strength of the sun's rays on Jiyong's eyelids caused him to stir.

Jiyong slowly opened his eyes and got up from the bed. He blinked a few times, allowing them to adjust.

“Mor...ning,” he said, rubbing at his face with his hands.

He looked ahead of him and smiled at the figure sitting in the swivel chair close to the bed. The person had their arms crossed over the top and sitting backwards in the chair.

Jiyong pouted, “You're not going to say good morning?”

Fingers gently brushed away hair from Jiyong's face and all he received in response was a warm smile.

~~~~

“Really? So that's why he's been so busy?”

“Yeah,” Seunghyun snorted, “And all he's been getting for it is shit from you, I just don't understand what he sees in you.”

“Hey! If you had just told me sooner, then—”

“Then what would have been the point, honestly?” Seunghyun snapped.

“Well...uh...I mean...” Jiyong frowned.

Seunghyun half-smiled, “Exactly.”

“So you're coming home from work now?”

Young Bae couldn't help but smile at the excitement in Jiyong's voice.

“Yeah, I'm coming home.”

“How far are you?”

Young Bae laughed, “Just left.”

“Aw! I wish you'd hurry up already! What are you taking? The bus?”

“Nah, I took a taxi.”

“Oh.”

Brief silence.

“Get here faster.”

Young Bae laughed, “I'm trying baby, I'm trying.”

He heard his lover moving around on the other end.

“What you doing?” Young Bae asked out of curiosity.

Jiyong stopped. Young Bae grinned, he could almost see Jiyong blushing. He knew, because it sounded like Jiyong had gone completely still on the other end; he was up to something.

“U-um...”

“What is it, Jiyong?”

“I uh...I got you something.”

Young Bae leaned his body against the door, grinning widely now.

“You did? What is it?”

“...”

“Baby?”

“Y-yeah, I'm still here.”

Young Bae laughed, “So you're not going to tell me what it is?”

“Nope.”

He could see his lover's childish expression so clearly in his mind. Young Bae smiled and played with the zipper of his jacket.

“So I have to wait until I get home?”

“Yup.”

“Aw, but I can't wait that long!” Young Bae said, imitating Jiyong's voice.

He smiled when hearing Jiyong's laughter on the other end.

“Shut up! I don't sound like that.”

“Yeah you do, don't lie,” Young Bae said.

“Hmph! Whatever!”

“Aw, don't be like that!”

Jiyong laughed again.

“Oh! Hey, listen, I gotta go.”

“What! Why?”

“I'm cooking something.”

“You? Cooking? I bet it's good,” Young Bae said, waggling his eyebrows even though he knew Jiyong couldn't see.

“Shut up! I'm making your favorite. Eggs, rice, kimchi, and some miso.”

“That's not my favorite,” Young Bae said, grinning.

He could almost see his lover blushing furiously. Jiyong knew all his favorites, but Young Bae knew that Jiyong didn't really know how to cook.

“...shut up. You'll eat what I give you.”

“Yes ma'am!”

“Ugh, stop!”

“How can I? You're so easy to tease.”

“Augh!”

Young Bae laughed. The taxi stopped at a red light. He heard his lover moving again.

“Hey.”

“Huh? Yeah?”

“I love you,” Young Bae said, smiling.

“Love you too.”

“I miss you,” Young Bae said.

“Are you still far?” Jiyong asked.

Young Bae looked out the window.

“No, no. I think I'm about fifteen minutes away now.”

“Okay, great. Hey...”

“What?”

Young Bae felt his lips twitch when he heard his lover sniff the air on the other end.

He laughed, “What's wrong, babe?”

“Something's...ah, shit! Something's burning!”

Young Bae smiled, “Then you have to go?”

“Oh...yeah...”

“That's okay. Hurry up and make sure nothing burns. I want my home to still be there when I get there.”

Jiyong laughed, “Okay, sorry.”

“Nah, don't be,” Young Bae hesitated, not wanting to hang up the phone, “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.”

“I'll see you soon.”

“Yeah.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Young Bae hung up the phone and slipped it into his jacket pocket. He looked at the gift in his hand and ran his thumb over the packaging. He couldn't wait to go home to his lover; to spend both Christmas and an anniversary with Jiyong. Their anniversary was actually a few weeks earlier in December, but after they had gotten into a fight, they had ended up pushing it back until the 24^th of December, Christmas Eve. Young Bae clutched the gift and looked outside the window, counting down the seconds it would take to get home.

Everything happened so fast after that. A car swerving right in front of Young Bae's taxi and into the shoulder lane. The taxi driver turning the car the wrong way while trying to avoid a possible hit. A car going over fifty smashing into the front of the taxi, another smashing into its side. Several other cars smashing together. All because someone had broken up with a woman, over the phone, who had been driving home from work.

~~~~

Seunghyun parked the car and he and his lover stepped out, both heading to the trunk first. There wasn't that much to carry. Seunghyun looked at Seung Ri and tossed him the keys. Seung Ri caught them with one hand.

“Here, you go on ahead. I'll just carry all these.”

“You sure?” Seung Ri asked.

Seunghyun nodded, “Yeah, there's only five bags. I'll be all right.”

“Okay. I'm going to go on ahead and make some food then.

“All right. Sounds good.”

~~~~

He pushed through the many spectators.

“Where is he? Officer! Let me see him.”

An policeman nodded at Jiyong once in greeting.

“You'll identify the body?”

Jiyong paled, “I...I don't understand.”

The officer nodded at two others beside him.

“Show him.”

One of the men lifted one of the white covers of a body still yet to be identified. Jiyong's eyes widened.

“No...no, no, no! Young Bae!”

Jiyong fell to his knees, reached for Young Bae and cradled his cold body, rocking back and forth, not caring who was watching.

“Young Bae, get up, please! If you're pretending, this isn't funny this time. Get up, Taeyang! Wake up, baby...”

I Dream of You, My Beloved Summer Sun [ONESHOT - GDYB & Minor TOPRi] (Part 3/7)

2007-12-25T12:12:30Z

~~~~

He had fallen asleep sometime after his two friends had left the apartment.

As time passed from morning to afternoon, the sun's position changed, and a bit of sunlight trickled through the blinds and carressed Jiyong's sleeping face.

“Hyung.”

“Hm?”

Seung Ri smiled and squeezed his lover's hand.

“See anything you like?” he asked.

Seunghyun shook his head, “No, not really.”

Seung Ri frowned and cupped a hand on the side of Seunghyun's face.

“What's wrong, hyung? Tell me what's wrong.”

Seunghyun sighed and pulled Seung Ri in for a hug. Seung Ri trailed his hands up and down his lover's back.

“Hey...” said Seung Ri, “Let's go home, huh? This is no fun.”

Seunghyun sighed and hugged his lover tighter.

“I'm sorry.”

“No,” Seung Ri pulled away from his lover and looked up into Seunghyun's eyes, “I meant it's not fun for either of us. All we're doing is worrying. Let's go back.”

Seunghyun half-smiled, “You sure? You sure you okay with that?”

Seung Ri smiled, “Yeah. I'm sure. Let's go.”

~~~~

It started with a phone call.

“Hey, Seunghyun. You'll cover for me today too, right? Promise?”

“Yeah yeah. He's going to kill you for this, you know.”

Laughter.

“Yeah, I know.”

Seunghyun took the cell phone away from his ear for a brief second to check the time. He pressed the phone back to his ear.

“How long you going to take tonight?”

“I think...maybe until eleven?”

Seunghyun groaned, “It's my day off, man!”

“I know! I know! I'm sorry! I owe you one later.”

“You mean you owe me a million!” Seunghyun said, laughing, “Do you have any idea how much of a headache he can be? This isn't the first time you've asked me, either!”

“I know, I know! Geez! Just for today...”

Seunghyun blinked, “You're done?”

“Well...”

“How many more shifts until you've got it?”

“Just one more after this.”

“Wow. You're really going to buy it, huh?”

“Well, we've been dating since we were freshman in high school. It's our fifth year anniversary. I had to get him something special.”

“Of course.”

Muffled voices could be heard in the background.

“Well, that's my boss. I guess I have to go. I'll call you up later, all right, man?”

“All right.”

“Hey! Don't forget to take him someplace good, okay?”

“I said all right!” Seunghyun said, smiling.

Young Bae's laughter sounded crackled through the phone.

“Hey, hey, don't be like that, man. I was just making sure.”

“Whatever.”

“Haha, all right, see you later!”

“Bye.”

Seunghyun sighed as he hung up the phone. It was going to be another long day.

“I think me and Young Bae might be over.”

Seunghyun choked on his rice and Seung Ri patted him down on the back.

“Hey, you okay?” Seung Ri asked, “Here, have some water.”

Seunghyun took the glass gratefully and took a sip.

“Thanks,” he said and looked at Jiyong, “Now, what are you saying?”

Jiyong sighed and looked down at his food, poking at it with his chopstick.

“I mean, I don't really think we're over, but it's just...”

“Did you guys get into a fight?” Seung Ri asked.

Jiyong shook his head, “No, nothing like that. It's just these past two months he's been coming home pretty late...he says he's at work, but really, in all the years I've known him, I don't think he's ever been that much of a workaholic.”

“Maybe it's because it's the holiday season? It must be real busy where he works,” Seung Ri reasoned.

“I guess so...”

They ate in slightly awkward silence for a few minutes when Jiyong suddenly looked up at his two friends, earning questioning expressions from them.

“He's cheating on me!”

Seung Ri scrunched his nose, “Hyung, I don't think Young Bae-hyung would...”

“He must be!” Jiyong exclaimed, cutting the younger boy off, “That would explain everything! I mean, he does have motive, I guess, because we've been dating so long, and he always comes home late now.”

“That's because he's working, though,” Seung Ri reminded his friend.

“Right! Wait...oh no! Does that mean he's found someone at work? So that means he's working double shifts for that! He just wants to see this person more, and...”

An irritated Seunghyun splashed Jiyong with some cold water, which caused the other boy to jump.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“You're so...” Seunghyun had his fist raised, as if ready to strike.

Jiyong cowered a bit. Seung Ri put a hand over his lover's fist.

“Hey...calm down,” he said to Seunghyun, “It's okay.”

Seunghyun grunted and lowered his arm, but his eyes narrowed at Jiyong.

“I dare you to say something stupid like that again, man. When you do, I'll go and tell Young Bae to entertain the thought of actually trying to find someone else,” said Seunghyun.

Seung Ri's jaw slightly dropped.

“Hyung!”

“What?” Seunghyun looked at Seung Ri and asked, “If he already thinks Young Bae is seriously out there and playing the field, then he might as well go out and do it! Everybody wins! Jiyong ends up being right, and Young Bae won't have a whiny bitch for a—”

“Hyung!”

Jiyong slammed his chopsticks on the table. He had heard enough.

“So that's what you think I am,” he said, “I bet that's what he thinks of me too. Thanks for opening my eyes.”

He got up from his seat, ruffled through his pocket, and threw out some bills and change.

“That should cover my share. Thanks for the food, you guys,” he said, and then he was gone.

Seung Ri clucked his tongue, “Tch. You shouldnt've done that, hyung.”

“Well, I just said the truth,” Seunghyun snapped, “He's a fucking, wimpy, whining...”

“Just look at what happened, though! We spoiled a pretty good mealtime together, and on top of that, you never made it clear to him that Young Bae-hyung really isn't cheating on him.”

Seunghyun blinked, trying to absorb what Seung Ri was saying.

“I mean, c'mon, hyung. You know how Jiyong can be. Sometimes you really have to emphasize or prove it to him, or he'll never believe it,” Seung Ri said.

Seunghyun groaned and rubbed his face furiously. He leaned forward, face in his hands for a minute, and then he looked at lover, who sighed. Seung Ri thought that a short fuse and quick, hot temper was a trait that his and Young Bae's boyfriend seemed to share.

Seunghyun looked behind him in the direction where Jiyong had gone, and then looked back at Seung Ri.

“Shit. I really screwed up, didn't I?” he asked Seung Ri with a sheepish smile.

“Yeah,” Seung Ri said, giving Seunghyun a small smile back, “You did.”

Young Bae came home at nine, two hours before he had hoped. He had received a phone call from Seunghyun explaining what had happened at the restaurant. Worried, he had taken off early from his late shift. He was greeted with darkness when he entered the house that he and his lover shared.

“Jiyong?” Young Bae called out into the dark, “Baby? You home?”

He flicked on a couple of the lights.

“You're home early,” said Jiyong.

Young Bae jumped. He turned to see Jiyong sitting at the kitchen table. Young Bae frowned.

“Jiyong? Why are you sitting there in the dark?” he asked.

Jiyong ignored him. He pushed himself away from the table, making a scraping noise with his chair, got up and approached Young Bae.

“How come you're home so early.”

Young Bae searched his lover's face for any kind of hint; he was unfamiliar with this side of Jiyong, and that surprised him, since they had been together for so long. What Jiyong had said was in the form of a question, but said as a statement and even felt like just sarcasm at the same time. For the first time, Young Bae found his lover unreadable, and that worried him.

“Seunghyun called me. I came because I was worried about you,” said Young Bae, “He said you weren't feeling well.”

Now that Young Bae was finally able to assess the situation firsthand, it seemed a lot more serious than he had first taken it. Seunghyun had called him, first with an apology for his short temper, which Young Bae had quickly dismissed—if anyone could match his lover's hot attitude, it was Seunghyun. Secondly, he had warned Young Bae that Jiyong was extremely irritable and emotional. Young Bae had laughed the warning off at first, because Jiyong was always quick to his temper, and almost always his lover would get over it quickly. He didn't expect to come home to this kind of reaction.

“Why are you home? Why aren't you at work?” Jiyong's voice was very soft.

“I was worried about you,” Young Bae repeated, “Baby, tell me what's wr—”

“Oh, so they just let you come home because you tell them you're worried about me? I didn't know jobs like that existed, where they are so gracious,” Jiyong's expression was hard, “Please, Young Bae, tell me something that makes sense.”

“Well, I mean...”

“Why rush home, anyway? I'm sure Seunghyun didn't tell you I had a cold or something, so why not wait until your work ends? Huh?” Jiyong's voice was rising.

“Baby, I...”

Jiyong took a step forward and pushed Young Bae roughly. Unprepared, Young Bae had not braced himself for the impact and staggered back from a hit he could have easily avoided.

“Jiyong!”

“Who!” Jiyong shouted.

He began to throw light punches at Young Bae's chest and started backing his lover to the door.

“Who? I know there's someone. Why else would you be working so late at night? You've gotten sick of me and now you're playing with someone at work. Who is it, Young Bae? Who. Is. It!”

Young Bae's eyes widened, now everything was starting to make sense. He quickly grabbed Jiyong by the arms. Jiyong struggled.

“Hey, it's nothing like that. Jiyong, listen to me, I can explain.”

Jiyong scoffed, “Why explain now? You've let it go on for this long. I'm sick of it!”

He wrenched one of his arms free from Young Bae's grasped and reached behind for the lock. Jiyong moved his fingers furiously and turned the doorknob. He pushed Young Bae out into the chilly winter air. Both boys shivered involuntarily.

“Jiyong!” Young Bae hissed, “Let's not make a scene out here, the neighbors will wake up.”

“Go ahead and care about the neighbors, and I won't make a scene,” said Jiyong and he slammed the door shut on Young Bae's face.

Young Bae stared at the door, jaw dropped slightly, unsure of what just happened. He blinked. The first thing he registered was the cold. The second was the clicking sound from behind their front door. Young Bae reached for the doorknob and tried to turn it. It was locked. Young Bae let out an involuntary small laugh. He knocked on the door.

“Jiyong, open the door, please.”

Silence.

“Baby?” Young Bae knocked on the door a bit harder, “Baby, please open the door? Let me explain.”

This went on for a few more minutes. On the other side, Jiyong was leaning against the door, staring up at the ceiling and hands clasped behind his back. His body vibrated with every pound Young Bae landed on the door. Jiyong bit his lip to keep from crying. He wanted to let Young Bae in so badly; he wanted to open the door and let Young Bae hold him and just forget about the whole thing, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Young Bae lowered his hand after a while. Jiyong didn't seem like he was going to open the door anytime soon and Young Bae was starting to lose feeling in his hands from both the cold and the knocking. Heaving a heavy sigh, he leaned his whole body forward, palms and forehead pressed against the door, his breath coming out in wisps of white.

“Baby...?” he said softly, but loud enough for his lover to hear through the door, “We'll talk tomorrow then, okay? I'll explain it to you then.”

When Jiyong didn't answer, Young Bae let out another sigh and closed his eyes.

“If you need me tonight, then call me, okay? I'm going to call Seunghyun and Daesung, I'll probably be staying with one of them.”

He pushed off from the door and took a step back. He rummaged in his pocket for his cell phone and pressed one of the buttons he had registered on speed dial.

“Hello?”

Young Bae had to smile a bit at the raspy voice on the other end.

“Hey, Daesung. I'm sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Eh? No? Oh...well, kinda. Wait. Young Bae? That you?”

Young Bae gave a small laugh.

“Yeah, it's me. Sorry for calling you up like this...I felt kind of bad bothering Seunghyun, you know, him and Seung Ri have already done so much for me. They're probably busy right now too.”

Young Bae heard Daesung chuckle on the other end.

“Mm, yeah. Hey, come to think of it, Seunghyun told me what was up. Since you're calling me, I guess something happened?”

“Yeah...could I ask you for a small favor?”

“Man, you know you never have to ask. Just come over, Young Bae. Do you need a ride?”

“No, I think—”

Just then Young Bae heard a click and then the creaking of a door opening. He had his back turned to the door while talking to Daesung, so he turned around to see his lover there, leaning against the doorway with his hands in his pockets and his head down. He was making small kicks at the ground with his feet.

“Young Bae?” the voice on the other end seemed suddenly alert, “Young Bae? Hey! You there? You okay man?”

“Uh, huh? Oh,” Young Bae returned some of his focus back to his cell phone conversation, but he kept his eyes locked on his lover, in order to assess him, “Daesung?”

“Yeah?”

“I think...” Young Bae started, but then trailed off; he kept looking for a sign, anything.

As if reading Young Bae's mind, Jiyong stopped kicking the ground with his foot and then lifted it up a bit. It connected with the door and he pushed the door open wider gently with his foot.

“I think, I won't be needing that favor after all, Daesung. Sorry to bother you.”

“Oh, he's letting you in? That's good. Sleep well, Young Bae.”

“Thanks, you too. Bye.”

“Good night.”

As soon as Young Bae hung up the phone, Jiyong clasped a warm hand around his wrist and dragged him inside, kicking the door shut behind them and locking it with his free hand.

“Baby...”

“Don't say anything. I'm just doing this because I didn't want you staying out there in the cold so long.”

He led Young Bae to their living room couch and he gently pushed him down into sitting position, then left Young Bae's side to get something from their kitchen. Young Bae watched his lover's back questioningly. After a few minutes, Jiyong returned with a cup of warm hot chocolate and a pair of mittens. He offered the gloves first to Young Bae, who gave him another questioning stare.

“It's to warm up your hands,” said Jiyong, still not meeting Young Bae's gaze, “And to keep them from getting burned from the cup, because you won't be able to tell right now.”

Young Bae smiled. Jiyong set the cup down on the small, long table behind him. He took Young Bae's hands in his and helped slide on the gloves. Jiyong turned to get the cup from the table, but Young Bae stopped him, turning him back so that they could face each other. Finally, Jiyong lifted his head and looked at him.

“Young Bae...”

Young Bae leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jiyong's. The other flinched at first, surprised by the sudden cold, but then melted into the kiss. Jiyong pulled away reluctantly to catch some air. Their breathing was a bit uneven now. Young Bae's forehead rested against Jiyong's.

“I love you,” he whispered.

This time Jiyong initiated the kiss. This one became filled with more fire and passion, and soon Young Bae had Jiyong standing and they were making their way to the bedroom, lips still locked. Young Bae was taking the lead and Jiyong placed all his trust in him, focusing most of his energy on the kiss and less on taking backwards steps. They reached the bed and Jiyong fell back, Young Bae following him. They went on until suddenly Young Bae felt himself being pushed away.

“Stop.”

Young Bae looked at his lover in confusion.

“What's wrong, baby?”

“Let me...” Jiyong lifted a hand up to Young Bae's face, “Let me look at you.”

Young Bae's expression relaxed as Jiyong's hand began to lightly trail over his face. Jiyong's hand rested on Young Bae's cheek, his thumb gently caressing just below one of Young Bae's eyes. Jiyong let out a sigh.

“Jiyong?”

Jiyong pushed his lover away from him and got up, walking towards their closet.

“Come on, let's get changed.”

“Baby?”

Jiyong opened the closet and rummaged through some of the clothes. Young Bae approached him from behind and wrapped his arms around Jiyong's waist. He buried his head in the crook of his lover's neck.

“What's wrong, baby, why'd we stop?”

Jiyong let out another sigh, he hadn't wanted to stop. He knew Young Bae hadn't wanted to stop either, but Jiyong didn't want to be selfish anymore. He had done enough of that for the day.

He pulled out some of Young Bae's favorite sleepwear before gently prying his lover's hands away. He pressed the clothes to Young Bae's chest.

“Here, put those on.”

“Okay...”

They slipped into bed together after changing, neither one saying a word at first. Slowly, their hands clasped together under the covers like always, and then Young Bae brought the younger boy closer to him. Jiyong curled to Young Bae and loosely gripped at the other boy's shirt; the light sobbing didn't come until after Young Bae declared his love to him once again and pressed warm lips against his forehead. Young Bae gently ran his fingers up and down Jiyong's back to soothe him. They fell into quiet conversation when Jiyong had finally calmed down.

“Young Bae?”

“Yeah?”

“I'm sorry.”

Young Bae hugged Jiyong tighter, relieved the younger boy was no longer upset.

“It's all right.”

They fell silent for a moment, the only thing that could be heard was their unmatched breathing. Young Bae wrapped the covers tighter around them.

“Hey, baby?” Young Bae asked.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you want to stop?”

Jiyong smiled a bit and then looked up at Young Bae who slowly formed a smile back, though his eyes were still questioning.

“I didn't want to stop, Young Bae.”

“Then...?”

Jiyong lifted his hand up to his lover's face and carressed it much in the same fashion he had done before.

“Look at these circles under your eyes. You've been working too hard. You're tired.”

“But—”

Jiyong silenced his lover with a kiss. He pulled back and smiled again.

“I love you, Young Bae. Now go to sleep.”

Young Bae was slightly shocked at Jiyong's consideration. Jiyong usually didn't let up on his selfish desires. He smiled.

“Asshole,” Young Bae teased.

He flinched when Jiyong gave him a smack on the chest. They both laughed. They kissed again.

“I love you,” said Young Bae.

“I love you too.”

Young Bae yawned. Jiyong smiled as he watched his lover's eyes slowly shut, his own lids feeling quite heavy.

“Good night,” he said to his lover.
“Night,” Jiyong heard Young Bae say softly back before they both fell into a deep sleep.

I Dream of You, My Beloved Summer Sun [ONESHOT - GDYB & Minor TOPRi] (Part 2/7)

2007-12-25T12:08:12Z

~~~~

“Whoa...what is that?” Jiyong asked excitedly, pointing up at one of the largest rides in the entire park.

“Huh?” Daesung looked down at a map that his uncle had given him before they had all set off to explore, “Um...uh...”

“Give me that,” Seunghyun said impatiently and flipped the map the right way, “That's the...Typhoon, it says here.”

“Dang...” Jiyong said as he let out a whistle, “I want to try it. Let's try that one, Young Bae!”

Young Bae laughed. He didn't particularly care for rollercoasters, but if it made his Jiyong happy, then he didn't mind.

Young Bae turned around and looked at the others.

“You all going to go on it?” he asked.

“I dunno...” Daesung said, “It doesn't look so safe.”

“But your uncle made it!” Jiyong exclaimed.

“I know, but still...”

“What about you two?” Young Bae asked Seunghyun and Seung Ri.

Seunghyun crossed his arms over his chest.

“Hell no,” he said.

Seung Ri laughed, “Well, if he's not going, then I'm not going either.”

“Aw you guys!” Jiyong whined, “You all are a bunch of wimps! Come on, Young Bae, you'll still go with me, even if they're not going, right?”

“Well...”

“Come on, Young Bae! It won't be so bad! They're just chicken.”

Young Bae laughed, “All right then. Let's go on it.”

Young Bae would regret those words a few minutes later.

~~~~

Seunghyun came home to his lover sitting on the couch, looking stressed out. He frowned.

“Seung Ri.”

The younger boy looked up and gave a small smile.

“H-hey. Is it already that time?”

Seunghyun shook his head, “No, they let me out about a half hour early. What's wrong? What happened?”

“Well...it just all kind of happened so fast. I woke Jiyong-hyung up for breakfast...and then I asked him if he wanted to go shopping with us...then he asked me what day it was, and after I told him, he just snapped at me to get out. So I did.”

Seunghyun let out a small sigh and scratched at the back of his neck with his hand.

“You all right? He didn't do anything to you?”

Seung Ri shook his head, “No, he just yelled, but...he's gotten really scary lately. Especially just after he wakes up.”

“Did he come out to eat?”

“No,” Seung Ri said, shaking his head, “I was getting worried, but I was kind of scared to go back in and check on him...”

Seunghyun smiled and ruffled Seung Ri's hair.

“Hey, it's okay. You're just not used to his temper.”

“Mm...”

Seunghyun gave his lover a quick kiss on his forehead.

“I'll go check on him.”

“Kay.”

Seunghyun walked up to Jiyong's door and knocked on it.

“Jiyong?” he called.

No answer.

“Jiyong?” he called again and turned the doorknob.

He frowned when he realized that the door was locked. He knocked on the door a bit louder.

“Jiyong? Hey! Jiyong!” he jiggled at the doorknob and kicked the door, “Hey! Open up!”

Seung Ri appeared behind his lover. He had gotten up from his seat when he had started to hear Seunghyun shout.

“What's going on?” Seung Ri asked, concerned.

“Bastard won't open the door—hey! Open up!” Seunghyun said, pounding at the door now.

Inside, Jiyong was sitting on the floor, leaning against his bed. Tears were falling from his eyes, and there was something clutched in his hand.

“Leave me alone...” he whispered, “Go away...”

“Hey!” Seunghyun shouted, “If you don't open up, you bastard, I'm going to break this—”

“Fuck off!”

Seunghyun's fist stopped in midair and his other hand stopped turing the doorknob. He seemed frozen in place.

“Just leave me alone...”

Seunghyun lowered his hands and let out a sigh of relief.

“All right,” he said.

Seunghyun turned to Seung Ri.

“Come on, let's get out of here,” he said.

Seung Ri looked at his lover in confusion, “W-wait! What about Jiyong-hyung?”

Seunghyun started to walk away.

“We've got shopping to do. Besides, he's fine, so there's nothing to worry about.”

“Okay...I guess so,” said Seung Ri, not quite fully understanding what Seunghyun meant.

Seung Ri may not have remembered, since it had been so long ago, but Seunghyun never forgot the memory. For him, it hadn't been something that could be so easily forgotten.

~~~~

Three years ago, Seunghyun had almost lost one of his closest friends forever.

They didn't always live together. In fact, it was both Seunghyun and Seung Ri that ended up ultimately deciding to move in with Jiyong, much to their friend's dismay. Slowly, everything in the house that was filled with Young Bae's things, memories of Jiyong and Young Bae, slowly filed out and were replaced with newer, different things; Seunghyun and Seung Ri's things. The spare bedroom that the two lovers had never used now became Seunghyun and Seung Ri's room. Jiyong didn't want them there, he didn't want the changes, but he didn't argue. He had screwed up, and so he let them change everything.

It had all started after Daesung had left Jiyong alone in his large house; Korean's didn't typically live in houses, but Daesung was from a wealthy lineage. Daesung had left Jiyong there, in one of the spare bedrooms, with the intention of trying to keep him safe, as he went to go get some food to have in the house. The events that followed took place within the next hour and half after Daesung's departure.

Daesung's phone rang as he drove. He answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, man. How is he?”

Daesung did his best to concentrate on the road and inwardly cursed at himself for not bringing his headset into the car; Korea's roads were not to be messed with.

“Hey Seunghyun. He was fine when I left him.”

Silence.

“What? You left him? How could you leave him!”

Daesung could hear Seung Ri in the background.

“Are you serious? Daesung-hyung just left Jiyong-hyung there? By himself?”

Daesung couldn't make out the next couple of words the two lovers exchanged. He pulled the phone a small distance away from his ear when his cell phone began to make loud scratching noises, obvious sounds of Seunghyun readjusting the phone.

“Sorry, I just put the phone on speaker so Seung Ri can hear,” Seunghyun's voice sounded a bit distant.

“That's fine.”

“Daesung,” Seunghyun's voice was very serious.

“Yeah?”

“Where are you going?”

Daesung felt himself getting a bit annoyed with his friends.

“Just to go get some food, so Jiyong won't get hungry later. What? What is it? What's the problem?”

“I just think you should have called one of us just in case, that's all. Or maybe asked one of us to go do the shopping.”

“Well sorry,” Daesung snorted, “I didn't realize I'm not capable enough to help our friend.”

“That's not—”

“Yes it is entirely what you meant, Seunghyun. Man, Young Bae is the only one that seems to understand what I try to do for everyone; sees me for who I really am. He's never judged me all this time,” Daesung started to feel tears sting his eyes and he tried to hold them back so he could continue to see the road, “He's never looked at me as the spoiled, bratty rich kid. He's...shit, I'm...I'm sorry.”

There was silence on the other end. Daesung let out a sigh. He didn't check to see if his friends had hung up, and he didn't take the phone away from his face. He just kept on driving in silence for a few more minutes.

“Hey...you guys. You...you both there still?” Daesung asked finally, “You all there?”

“Yeah,” Daesung heard Seunghyun sigh, “Yeah, we're here.”

“I'm...” Daesung trailed off.

“It's all right, Daesung-ah. We know.”

“...”

“Hey, Daesung?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me something. Is the entry code to your back door still the same?”

“Yeah.”

“Um...do you mind if we go to check on—”

“Yeah, go ahead. I'll meet you guys there later.”

“Okay.”

Daesung could hear Seunghyun turn to his lover and speak to him.

“Baby, can you start getting ready?” Seunghyun's voice seemed even more distant now.

“Yeah,” Daesung heard Seung Ri reply.

“All right.”

Daesung heard Seunghyun's movement once more. He pulled into a parking lot.

“Hey, Seunghyun?”

“Yep.”

“Thanks,” he said while sighing, he wanted to apologize as well, but he knew that Seunghyun would hear nothing of it.

“It's no problem. We'll see you later, yeah?”

“...yeah. Bye Seunghyun.”

“Bye.”

Daesung rolled into a parking space and tossed his phone over into the passenger's seat, after he had parked. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, letting the tears slide down his already moistened face.

Seung Ri held his lover's hand and tried to reassure him by rubbing his thumb up and down Seunghyun's hand as the older man drove. Occasionally Seunghyun would respond by giving Seung Ri's hand a light squeeze, relaxing the younger boy a little.

“Hyung...”

Seunghyun pursed his lips and Seung Ri said no more, now was not the time for words. Seunghyun poured all his concentration on the road, trying to ignore the unsettling feeling slowly snaking around his stomach.

For the first ten minutes after Daesung had left him alone to his own devices in the spare bedroom, Jiyong did nothing but shift in position. First he lay on the bed and then he sat on the floor. Then he sat in a swivel chair in the room and spun himself around a couple times, his eyes blank and unfocused. Then the pacing began. He paced around the room until it got on his nerves and then he punched at the only mirror in the room, which was part of a vanity, and listened to it shatter. He didn't quite know why he punched at the mirror; it had been so automatic. When he pulled back, he took a look at his hand; it was bleeding. He looked from his hand to the mirror and saw himself being reflected several times. He looked back at his hand, at the blood. It was then he realized something critical; he felt no pain.

“Jiyong?” Seunghyun called.

“Jiyong-hyung, you there?” Seung Ri quipped.

The two had gotten through the back door which was strictly code-operated, the code only known to the five friends to only be used in emergency, in replacement of a key, if Daesung weren't available to let any of them in.

“Jiyong?” Seunghyun called out again.

They both looked around the empty living room, where they had entered. Seung Ri shivered. The only sounds that could be heard was the ticking of a clock and the low hum from the lights.

“Hyung,” Seung Ri whispered, “Something doesn't feel right.”

“You're right,” said Seunghyun, “It doesn't.”

“What should we do?”

Seunghyun looked around and motioned in one direction.

“You look over there first. I'll look around here. Then we'll check upstairs.”

“Okay.”

Seunghyun moved right away.

“Jiyong!” he called out.

Seung Ri also moved quickly.

“Jiyong-hyung!”

Seunghyun opened the door to a garage and looked inside.

“Jiyong!”

Seung Ri opened a door leading to a basement and flicked on a light before walking down the steps. Seunghyun started to check the lower bathrooms.

“Jiyong-hyung!”

“Jiyong!”

The back of Jiyong's neck prickled when he heard familiar voices shout out his name. His hands trembled. The one he had used to punch the mirror was drenched in even more blood. A few minutes before Seunghyun and Seung Ri's arrival, he had gone to Daesung's study, where he knew his friend kept his gun collection and bullet packs. He had smashed one of the gun display cases open and selected one with his good hand, to at least keep the blood from dripping on it. He then had taken a single bullet from one of the bullet packs and taken it back up to the spare bedroom with him. Only he hadn't been able to find the same spare bedroom, not that it really mattered to him which one he ended up at.

“Jiyong-hyung!”

The two boys turned when they heard the front door open and close. They ran towards the front door and masked their disappointment when the found it was Daesung, not Jiyong, who had come home. Daesung looked at them and frowned, placing some of the groceries on the ground.

“What is it, guys? What's wrong?”

“We can't find him,” Seung Ri said softly.

“What do you mean you can't find him?” Daesung asked.

Seunghyun's eyes narrowed, “Your house is so damn big.”

Daesung glared back at Seunghyun, “Well, did you check the spare bedrooms?”

“We were about to go up the stairs, but you came home, hyung,” said Seung Ri, “We were hoping it might be him.”

“Well, let's waste no time then,” said Daesung, “Let's go upstairs, he'll be there.”

Jiyong had the gun to his temple, cocked, loaded, and ready, when he heard his friends come up the stairs.

“You check those rooms, and Seung Ri, you check these ones. I'll check the ones at the end.”

It was Daesung's voice, Jiyong recognized it. He felt his hand shake and he blinked back tears. His finger trembled on the trigger and his breathing started to become quick and uneven. He was losing his resolve.

“He's not in here.”

It was Seunghyun.

“He's not here but,” Jiyong heard Seung Ri gasp, “What is this? It's blood! He's bleeding!”

“What'd he—” it was Daesung again, “Oh my god...”

The searching became more frantic. He heard doors slam and feet pad into every room before his. They were also checking the bathrooms and the closets. Jiyong lowered the gun and turned to stare at the door behind him. They were getting closer. In one quick movement, he jumped off the bed and bolted to the door, locking it.

“Hey!” it was Seung Ri, “I heard a noise! It was from that room! Second to last one!”

Jiyong took several steps back, his breathing becoming more uneven and his heart racing faster. The hand still holding the gun was trembling at his side. He watched the doorknob turn, then jiggle. Jiyong froze.

“Hey...it's locked! Hyung! Daesung-hyung! It's locked!”

“What!” Daesung tried to open the door as well and knocked, “Jiyong! Jiyong, you're in there, aren't you? Open the door, man!”

Jiyong took several more steps back.

“Shit!” said Daesung, “Jiyong! Open the door, man!”

There was more pounding. Jiyong kept walking back and surprised himself by running into the bed behind him. He tripped and flopped onto the bed. The hand holding the gun flung out to the side and his finger pulled the trigger, causing the single bullet to be fired with a loud crack. Jiyong's eyes widened. There was immediate silence on the other side.

“Shit, did you just hear that?” asked Seung Ri, “That was a gunshot, wasn't it?”

“I think—where the fuck would he get a gun?” asked Seunghyun.

Daesung paled.

“I...he...”

Jiyong jumped from the bed when he heard Seunghyun slam his friend into a wall.

“The fuck would he get a gun, Daesung? Huh!”

“I...he...the gun collection...he must have—”

“Shit!” Seunghyun cursed loudly, “You fucking idiot! That does it.”

There was silence and then a loud crash as Seunghyun busted down the door. Then they all stood there, staring at one another. The first thing they all noticed was the gun and Jiyong's bloodied hand.

“Hyung!” Seung Ri said, going for Jiyong's arm to inspect it.

He was stopped when Jiyong raised the gun and pointed it at Seung Ri with a trembling hand. He stopped immediately and raised his hands. Daesung's jaw dropped slightly.

“W-whoa, hyung...”

Seunghyun immediately took a step forward, his face suddenly turning red.

“You little shit!”

Jiyong's eyes widened and he pointed the gun at Seunghyun instead; the other didn't seem the least bit phased. In fact, he came a little bit closer. Jiyong took a step back.

“You fucking asshole!”

“G-g-go...” tears trickled down Jiyong's eyes and his whole body continued to shake, “Go a-away.”

Seunghyun frowned, “What! What did you say?”

Jiyong took a gulp of air, “Ju...just l-le-eave me al-lone.”

“The hell I won't!” Seunghyun shouted.

“Seunghyun!” said Seung Ri.

Seung Ri and Daesung shut their eyes. Seung Ri clapped his hands over his ears. What they heard next was not a gunshot, but a loud thud followed by a smack. The other two slowly opened their eyes to take a peek. What they saw shocked them. Seunghyun was breathing heavily, with his hand raised, standing over a stunned Jiyong. Jiyong's former gun-hand was in mid-air, nearby his face, as if he were unsure whether or not to touch where Seunghyun had hit him. The empty gun was on the ground, where it had gone after Seunghyun had slapped it out of Jiyong's hand.

“You...” Seunghyun took a deep breath, “You...had the nerve to point a gun at your own friend.”

Jiyong continued to avoid Seunghyun's piercing glare.

“You...you tried to take your own life, and when you failed miserably at that, you tried to kill us!”

Jiyong continued to look away. Seunghyun was getting even more annoyed and frustrated.

“Hey! Are you even listening, you little shit?” Seunghyun reached down and lifted Jiyong up roughly by the collar of his shirt, “Yo! Answer me! Look at me! Say something!”

“H-hyung!” Seung Ri put a hand on his lover's, trying to pry him away from Jiyong, “Stop! Don't do this!”

Seunghyun shook Seung Ri off roughly and looked at him angrily.

“You shut up!”

He refocused his attention to Jiyong and shook him.

“What's the matter with you? Why won't you answer me? Oh, you so sad because we interrupted your little suicide? Huh? Huh? Well in that case, why don't I just let you die then, huh? Why don't I just help you get there!” Seunghyun said as he lifted his arm to throw another punch at Jiyong's face.

“Hyung, stop!” Seung Ri shouted, and grabbed Seunghyun's arm, preventing him from landing the blow.

Daesung pried Seunghyun away from Jiyong.

“That's enough, Seunghyun.”

“What are you guys protecting him for?” Seunghyun asked, looking between his lover and his friend, “Huh? The fuck are you two protecting him for?”

Seung Ri looked at Daesung and Jiyong. He gave Jiyong an apologetic smile.

“Hey...Daesung-hyung? Take Jiyong-hyung out of here and take care of his hand, yeah? I'll talk with Seunghyun...”

Daesung nodded.

“Come on Jiyong,” he said, putting a hand on Jiyong's back and gently pushing him towards the door, “Let's go.”

After Daesung and Jiyong had gone, Seunghyun looked back at Seung Ri angrily.

“How could you just let him go like that? What the hell is wrong with—”

Seunghyun's eyes widened in shock as Seung Ri's hand slapped him across the face.

“Seung Ri!” his voice was considerably softer.

“I'm sorry, hyung!” Seung Ri said, “But you were just being unreasonable.”

“Unreasonable? Unreasonable! That asshole pointed that gun at me! At his friend!”

“I know, hyung, but...”

“He tried to kill me!”

“I know, hyung, but...”

“He tried to kill you!” Seunghyun shouted, “I was just supposed to stand there and watch that happen? Huh?”

Seung Ri fell silent. Seunghyun sighed and pulled his lover in for a tight hug.

“I'm sorry, Seung Ri...it's just that...the realization that you were in danger...”

Seung Ri sighed.

“I know, hyung...I know.”

“Then...”

“Then you understand perfectly what Jiyong-hyung's feeling, don't you?” Seung Ri asked.

It was such a simple question. Seunghyun heaved out a sigh and buried his face in Seung Ri's hair.

“Shit...I screwed up, didn't I?”

“Yeah,” Seung Ri said softly, clutching his lover tightly, “...you did.”

Jiyong struggled at first, when Daesung was helping to clean his wound, but eventually he just gave up and went slack, letting Daesung disinfect and wrap his wound with gauze and bandages. Daesung looked up at Jiyong.

“Does it hurt bad?” he asked.

Jiyong's lower lip quivered slightly.

“He left me...” Jiyong whispered.

Daesung put pressure on his teeth, unsure of what to say. Jiyong put his face in his uninjured hand and began to cry again.

“He's gone...”

Daesung lifted a hand, reaching for Jiyong's knee, to comfort him. Jiyong blocked him with his other arm.

“Don't touch me.”

“Jiyong...”

“He's not coming back...” Jiyong whispered.

“Jiyong...”

“...is he.”

Daesung sighed and fell back into a sitting position on the floor, unsure of what else to do besides watch him and prevent him from further injuring himself.

“Is he?”

Daesung scratched his hair out of frustration.

“No...no, he's not.”

Jiyong let out a scream.

I Dream of You, My Beloved Summer Sun [ONESHOT - GDYB & Minor TOPRi] (Part 1/7)

2007-12-25T12:05:53Z

I Dream of You, My Beloved Summer Sun

Laughter. Sunlight. Warmth, happiness, and contentment.

It was morning. The sunlight seeped through the curtains and carressed the faces of the two sleeping boys cuddling under the covers, hands clasped and both their feet sticking out at the bottom of the bed. Jiyong stirred and Young Bae let out a soft sigh in his sleep. The sun hit directly on Jiyong's eyelids and forehead, warming them and forcing Jiyong to wake. Jiyong slowly opened one eye and let it adjust. He smiled at the sleeping teen before him. Young Bae's eyes were still shut, and his head was resting on his right arm, part of which was hidden under his pillow. The blanket was covering the other boy's head, shielding him from the sunlight, and he was holding one of Jiyong's hands with his free one, close to his lips. Now that Jiyong was more aware of his surroundings, he felt a bit uncomfortable in his sleeping position, but he waited. He didn't want to wake his lover up; he didn't want this moment to end.

“...g.”

A few minutes later, Young Bae's face scrunched and Jiyong's smile grew just a little bit wider. His lover slowly began to move and stretched, still very much asleep and never once letting go of Jiyong's hand. Young Bae then turned his head in Jiyong's direction. He let out another soft sigh before opening his eyes. He seemed a bit spaced out at first, but then he smiled.

“Mor...ning,” Young Bae said in a cracked whisper.

Jiyong chuckled.

“Morning to you too,” he said.

Young Bae moved his body closer to Jiyong's.

“How long have you been up?”

Jiyong brought his head to Young Bae's chest and the other nuzzled his neck.

“Not that long,” Jiyong said in a slightly muffled voice, “Just a few minutes.”

“Oh,” the other replied.

They stayed like that for a few minutes. Then, without either of them fully realizing what was happening, their eyes fell shut and they went back to sleep for just a bit longer.

“...ng.”

Jiyong woke up to an empty bed. Jiyong panicked at first, upon seeing the rumpled sheets beside him, but he relaxed upon hearing Young Bae come out of the shower. He remained still as Young Bae came out of the bathroom. He had one towel around his waist and was using a second one to dry off his scalp, since he had shaved off all his hair recently. When Jiyong had asked him why he had gotten tired of the dreadlocks, Young Bae had simply replied that it had been just too time consuming to take care of.

Jiyong silently observed Young Bae's physique from where he was with appreciation. Young Bae bent down to get some underwear from one of the drawers and the towel at his waist became slightly loose, causing Jiyong to gasp softly. Although he and Young Bae were lovers, and they saw each other almost every minute of the day, Jiyong found that he could never get enough of the other teen.

Young Bae found what he was looking for and slowly got up to look in one of the higher drawers for a shirt and some pants. The towel dipped a bit lower. Jiyong bit his lip. Young Bae smirked.

“You okay with just looking?” Young Bae asked.

Jiyong's eyes widened in surprise and he got up abruptly.

“Wha—what? How did you know I was awake?”

Young Bae put on his shirt and then he turned around, walking towards the bed. He leaned forward and pushed his finger on Jiyong's nose gently.

“Because, moron, you snore when you sleep,” Young Bae said, grinning.

Jiyong blushed, “I...I do?”

Young Bae laughed and pecked Jiyong a light kiss on the lips.

“Yeah, you do,” he said, “Hey, I'm about to go to the kitchen, you hungry?”

As if on cue, Jiyong's stomach let out a small growl. Jiyong flushed a bit more. Young Bae let out another laugh.

“Haha, I'm going to go make us something. Go take a shower, okay?”

“Hey...are you saying I stink?” Jiyong asked, pretending to look hurt.

“No!”

Jiyong laughed at how seriously Young Bae had taken it. He pecked his own little kiss on his lover's lips. Young Bae seemed to recover and gave a small smile. He lifted his finger and poked it at Jiyong's forehead.

“But I know if you don't take one, you're never going to get up,” he said.

Jiyong laughed, “Yeah, you're right about that!”

Young Bae smiled as Jiyong slinked out of bed and passed him to get to the bathroom.

“Hey Jiyong?”

Jiyong turned around at the doorway to the bathroom.

“Yeah? What?”

“Anything special you want to eat?”

Jiyong thought about it for a minute.

“Hey, how about that kimbap you used to always make me in high school?”

“Yeah? Okay. I'll make that. How about some tofu and a bit of soup?”

“Mm! Sounds good!”

“Okay. Hurry up and take a shower. I'll be making everything.”

“All right.”

Jiyong went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Young Bae finished changing and then went into the kitchen to make them both breakfast. Jiyong came out to an aroma that made his stomach growl even harder than it had before he had gone into the shower.

He entered the kitchen to see Young Bae cooking away at the soup. Everything else seemed to be finished. He crept up behind his lover and slipped his arms around Young Bae's waist. He leaned his head on Young Bae's back. His lover smiled.

“You need help with anything?” Jiyong asked.

“Nope, almost finished.”

“You smell good.”

Young Bae's lips twitched at his lover's randomness.

“You sure you don't you mean the food?”

Jiyong blushed and rubbed his face on Young Bae's back.

“No.”

The metal ladle clanged against the pot and Young Bae pushed against Jiyong slightly.

“Hey, get up. I want you to taste this.”

“Huh?” Jiyong lifted his head.

Young Bae brought the ladle close to Jiyong's lips and let him take a sip.

“Well?”

“Yuck! It's way too salty!” Jiyong said, scrunching his nose.

“Huh? It is?” Young Bae looked at his soup in surprise, “I—hey, wait a minute, I didn't put any salt in this!”

Jiyong laughed.

“Fooled ya!” he said, sticking out his tongue.

He knew how sensitive Young Bae could be about his cooking. He ducked, before Young Bae could hit him over the head with the ladle, and then ran.

“Hey! Come back here! You're going to pay for that one!”

Jiyong laughed as Young Bae chased him back the short distance to their room, where Young Bae ended up tackling him onto their bed.

“Hah! Got you!”

They laughed. Jiyong pretended to struggle. Young Bae tickled him for revenge, which made him cry out for mercy. Young Bae pressed his lips to the younger boy's neck.

“Mm, Taeyang,” Jiyong moaned.

Young Bae pulled back and they looked at each other, smiling. Taeyang was a nickname Jiyong had started calling him so long ago, before they had made it official that they were partners. Jiyong looked up at his lover and slowly put his fingers to Young Bae's lips, brushing over them lightly.

"You're so beautiful, Jiyong..."

"Ugh," Jiyong groaned, putting a hand to his face to try and hide the blush forming there, "You're so annoying."

Young Bae smiled, "You always say that."

"Whatever."

Young Bae leaned his weight forward and Jiyong reached upward. Then their lips locked, clothes were discarded, and they ended up forgetting all about breakfast.

“...y...ng.”

“Shit, we are so late, Young Bae! Hurry up!”

“Well, whose fault was that? You were the one that wanted to eat, I told you we had no time! We could have just gotten food on the way.”

“But then I would've died of starvation!”

Young Bae rolled his eyes, “Right.”

“Besides, it's your fault we're this late anyway, if you hadn't started kissing me all over and we had just eaten breakfast, then—”

“First of all, you started it with running away. Secondly, don't tell me you didn't enjoy every minute of it.”

Jiyong blushed furiously, “S-shut up!”

“Make me.”

Jiyong did a double take and groaned, running his hands through his hair with frustration.

“That would take too much time! Forget it. You win for now. Let's just go!”

Young Bae ran his fingers quickly through his hat rack, picked one, and then slipped on his shoes before following Jiyong out the door. He smiled as he ran after his lover. Only Jiyong would be so excited about being punctual for events that involved nothing but fun, like the amusement park they were going to that day. Daesung's uncle owned it, and the whole group, including them, Seunghyun, Seung Ri and Daesung, were to meet in front of the park at quarter to eleven, to try out all the rides before the official opening day.

“Hyung!”

“Ah!” Jiyong bolted awake.

Seung Ri took a step back and held up his hands.

“Whoa, sorry.”

Jiyong looked over at his clock. It was eight in the morning. He sighed and buried his head in his hands.

“What do you want, Seung Ri?”

“Um...well...breakfast is ready.”

“Is that it?”

“Er...and, well, Seunghyun and I were planning on going shopping later. He told me to ask you if you wanted to come with us?”

Jiyong sighed and flopped back down on his bed, draping an arm over his eyes.

“What day is it?” he asked.

Seung Ri blinked, “Uh...Friday. It's the 21^st.”

“Oh. Right. So you two will be going Christmas shopping.”

“Yeah...”

“He at work right now?”

“Seunghyun? Yeah...”

“What time are you guys going to go?”

“When he comes back. Maybe a little later. Around one, I think.”

Jiyong slid his arm up a bit higher and he let his eyes peek at the ceiling.

“Nope, I'll pass.”

“But...”

“You two have fun,” Jiyong said, expression darkening a bit, “I'll be fine here. Just go without me.”

“Hyung...”

“Get out!”

“All right!” Seung Ri said quickly and rushed out of the room.

Jiyong got up and slammed the door shut, then punched at it.

“Nngh!”

He sighed and pressed his forehead against the door, his right arm still at the place where he punched at the wall beside the door.

“It's all a dream...” he whispered to himself, his body shaking, “That's all it ever is anymore.”